I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
