saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize