first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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