Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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