I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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