Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
