office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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