Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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