You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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