I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
