It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize