Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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