I think I am morally bankrupt
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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