the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
