I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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