Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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