haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
