She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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