Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going