Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious