come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.