community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.