Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.