I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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