Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
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After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
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I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues