i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?