i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy