worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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