Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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