then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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