i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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