Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
