maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
