Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You have to summon your inner elephant
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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