just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
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So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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