I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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