Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
