he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
