I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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