get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
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Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
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Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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