AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
