His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
we're so committed to being not committed
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
