ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
