Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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