I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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