I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
