i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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