am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize