ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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