Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
