I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
