my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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