i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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