It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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