my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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