Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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