We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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