I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
