it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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