I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
