woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
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