he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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