in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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