dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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