Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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