well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
time to smoke my breakfast
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
