Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
