Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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